Holiday Season And Buyer Remorse
I had promised another post more-or-less on the same topic as the last and the one I propose I think is appropriate for this time of year. I have often spent too much on a Christmas gift, or more selfishly, bought something for myself that was too expensive or unnecessary or both. The resultant feeling of anxiety can be overpowering. If I am lucky when this strikes, I can take the item back for a refund but more and more I have been shopping at places that don’t allow refunds or exchanges. I did it last Saturday. Ostensibly I bought a bluetooth headset for a friend for Christmas at a discount electronics store. When I got it home I realized two things. My friend is useless with anything electronic and that, knowing this, I really bought it for myself. Buyer remorse then set in unrelieved by a return to the store which was expressly forbidden on the receipt. I already had a bluetooth car speaker system. I bought it on an impulse but there is something creepier in there and that is that I knew it would make me feel better. Anyone with ADHD (and perhaps a couple of other disorders) can identify with this trick. But the trick can backfire, as was happening in this case, and make you feel worse. I tried to rationalize that it was a Christmas gift from me-to-me but my conscience wasn’t buying it. And I’m stuck with it. Well, I thought, at least I’ll get a post out of it.
It is called buyer remorse or, more correctly, cognitive dissonance and I came across an excellent explanation of it here. Essentially cognitive dissonance according to this blog describes “the negative tension that results from having two conflicting thoughts at the same time, or from engaging in behavior that conflicts with one’s beliefs.” Wikipedia says the cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two contradictory ideas simultaneously. It goes on to say that beliefs often change to match behavior when beliefs and behavior are in conflict. Buyer remorse is a well-known consumer phenomenon and with high-ticket items, the manufacturers’ often include a folder or card that explains to the buyer why they have made a wise choice. The point is, of course, to keep them from returning the item.
There are far more serious consequences though in terms of addiction and cognitive dissonance then expresses itself as denial. The plays out in the scenario where the individual is getting drunk, or stoned, everyday. Addicts get stoned everyday. I can’t be an addict so therefore getting stoned everyday is okay.
To make this whole post even more relevant you could say that the world is living in a time of global warming. Governments, and individuals, aren’t doing much about it. Therefore, if we are all sane, then doing nothing must be okay. Or even better, since we aren’t doing anything about it then global warming can’t be happening.
Addiction and the accompanying denial are the downside of neuroplasticity. Neural pathways can keep us in habits that are self-destructive. To change this requires deliberate and continuous action to move us in the opposite direction.
I’ve taken this far from just a bit of Christmas shopping and in so, in keeping with the most positive actions of the season, I will stop and wish you all a great holiday. (Or is breaking off here just more denial…)