Didn’t You See The Sign?
How often have you been asked this question: Didn’t you see the sign? It usually follows an action that illustrates quick clearly that we didn’t see the sign. It’s an interesting question from a number of standpoints. If you answer “yes” does this mean that you are obstinate or malicious? Does it mean that you saw the sign and went ahead and did what the sign indicated not to do anyway? Almost always it means that you didn’t see the sign in which case the question is unnecessary, the action illustrates that you didn’t see the sign. The more important question is really why didn’t you see the sign and that leads to some rather obvious answers. “No I didn’t see it because your door is covered in signs.”
“No I didn’t see it because I wasn’t looking at the spot where you put the sign.”
“No it is one of 2,456 signs that I didn’t see today because I have better things to do.”
For me the answer is quite often, “I have ADHD and I spend large chunks of my day being distracted.” Or if I really wanted to tell the truth, “I have ADHD and I only see things that are of interest to me. Quite obviously your sign wasn’t one of them”
The real truth is that most of us don’t see things unless we are looking for them and there is a video on youtube that is making the rounds now that really illustrates this point. There is a group of men passing around a basket ball. Voice-over asks that we count the number of times the basketball is passed amongst the players wearing white. Then the voice-over asks if we saw the moonwalking bear. The video rolls back and plays again. Sure enough there is a guy in a bear suit moonwalking through the players and he literally walks from one side of the screen to the other. The lesson–we see what we want to see. In addition, working memory has a limited capacity and we use it to focus on one thing at a time. Some people claim they can multitask and therefor do more than one thing at a time but I doubt it. There is research somewhere, I believe, that demonstrates that no one really multitasks with any efficiency. I will try to find it for a future post.
Adults with ADHD can become warn out with people who ask, “Didn’t you see the sign?” And we are probably asked that question more than most. I now rest in the comfort that most people didn’t see the gorilla and they probably won’t see the sign either. People who ask that question will probably ask that question a lot and, who knows, maybe they just like to feel smug about it and that’s why they put up the sign and then repeatedly ask people, “Didn’t you see the sign?”
Sometimes I can have some fun with it and the dialogue goes like this:
“Didn’t you see the sign?”
“What sign?”
“That sign.”
“You mean this sign?”
“Yes, that sign.”
“No I didn’t see it. Was I supposed to?”
“Of course you were supposed to. Why do you think I put it there?”
“I don’t know. Why did you put it there?”
“I put it there because I want people to (whatever the sign says).”
“Then why wouldn’t you put it where I could see it?”
“I did.”
“Well obviously you didn’t or I would have seen it.”
Try it next time. At the very least you will make the sign person angry, or hopefully embarrassed but I’ll bet you won’t be shamed by the question, “Didn’t you see the sign?”