One Brain's journey

I had promised another post more-or-less on the same topic as the last and the one I propose I think is appropriate for this time of year. I have often spent too much on a Christmas gift, or more selfishly, bought something for myself that was too expensive or unnecessary or both. The resultant feeling of anxiety can be overpowering. If I am lucky when this strikes, I can take the item back for a refund but more and more I have been shopping at places that don’t allow refunds or exchanges. I did it last Saturday. Ostensibly I bought a bluetooth headset for a friend for Christmas at a discount electronics store. When I got it home I realized two things. My friend is useless with anything electronic and that, knowing this, I really bought it for myself.  Buyer remorse then set in unrelieved by a return to the store which was expressly forbidden on the receipt. I already had a bluetooth car speaker system. I bought it on an impulse but there is something creepier in there and that is that I knew it would make me feel better. Anyone with ADHD (and perhaps a couple of other disorders) can identify with this trick. But the trick can backfire, as was happening in this case, and make you feel worse. I tried to rationalize that it was a Christmas gift from me-to-me but my conscience wasn’t buying it. And I’m stuck with it. Well, I thought, at least I’ll get a post out of it.

It is called buyer remorse or, more correctly, cognitive dissonance and I came across an excellent explanation of it here.  Essentially cognitive dissonance according to this blog describes “the negative tension that results from having two conflicting thoughts at the same time, or from engaging in behavior that conflicts with one’s beliefs.”  Wikipedia says the cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two contradictory ideas simultaneously.  It goes on to say that beliefs often change to match behavior when beliefs and behavior are in conflict.  Buyer remorse is a well-known consumer phenomenon and with high-ticket items, the manufacturers’ often include a folder or card that explains to the buyer why they have made a wise choice.  The point is, of course, to keep them from returning the item.

There are far more serious consequences though in terms of addiction and cognitive dissonance then expresses itself as denial.  The plays out in the scenario where the individual is getting drunk, or stoned, everyday.  Addicts get stoned everyday.  I can’t be an addict so therefore getting stoned everyday is okay.

To make this whole post even more relevant you could say that the world is living in a time of global warming.  Governments, and individuals, aren’t doing much about it.  Therefore, if we are all sane, then doing nothing must be okay.  Or even better, since we aren’t doing anything about it then global warming can’t be happening.

Addiction and the accompanying denial are the downside of neuroplasticity.  Neural pathways can keep us in habits that are self-destructive.  To change this requires deliberate and continuous action to move us in the opposite direction.

I’ve taken this far from just a bit of Christmas shopping and in so, in keeping with the most positive actions of the season, I will stop and wish you all a great holiday.  (Or is breaking off here just more denial…)

An interesting post on the blog tweetingdonal on wordpress here, quotes a study about working memory looking at its effects on other cognitive functioning, specifically decision making. The effect according to this site is known as cognitive load theory. The study asked volunteers to memorize two numbers and then walk down a hallway and, at the end, choose a dessert, either chocolate cake or fruit salad. A different sample was asked to memorize a seven digit number (pretty well the limit on working memory capacity) and then walk down the same hallway (while saying the number to themselves) and also choose from the same two desserts. Almost twice as many people in this sample chose the chocolate cake as compared to the previous sample who had only memorized two digits. The theory is that when working memory is filled to capacity, it either has to jettison one of the bits to access other cognitive functions such as decision making or suffer the consequences.  In this case it would be “just give me the damn cake.” The blog does not speculate on why the choice was the cake but perhaps it was the most visible or the easiest to say. The important point, of course, is not the choice but how it was made without contemplation or consideration

This is scary to a person with working memory problems, namely me, as it suggests that my decision, perhaps even important ones, are not a result of choice but of expedience. I like to think that everything I do represents who I am and, more importantly, who I want to be. I believe the conclusion from the study based on what I do know about the way working memory functions. There is another down side to this and I’ll pursue it in the next post…

How often have you been asked this question: Didn’t you see the sign? It usually follows an action that illustrates quick clearly that we didn’t see the sign. It’s an interesting question from a number of standpoints. If you answer “yes” does this mean that you are obstinate or malicious? Does it mean that you saw the sign and went ahead and did what the sign indicated not to do anyway? Almost always it means that you didn’t see the sign in which case the question is unnecessary, the action illustrates that you didn’t see the sign. The more important question is really why didn’t you see the sign and that leads to some rather obvious answers. “No I didn’t see it because your door is covered in signs.”
“No I didn’t see it because I wasn’t looking at the spot where you put the sign.”
“No it is one of 2,456 signs that I didn’t see today because I have better things to do.”

For me the answer is quite often, “I have ADHD and I spend large chunks of my day being distracted.” Or if I really wanted to tell the truth, “I have ADHD and I only see things that are of interest to me. Quite obviously your sign wasn’t one of them”

The real truth is that most of us don’t see things unless we are looking for them and there is a video on youtube that is making the rounds now that really illustrates this point. There is a group of men passing around a basket ball. Voice-over asks that we count the number of times the basketball is passed amongst the players wearing white. Then the voice-over asks if we saw the moonwalking bear. The video rolls back and plays again. Sure enough there is a guy in a bear suit moonwalking through the players and he literally walks from one side of the screen to the other. The lesson–we see what we want to see.  In addition, working memory has a limited capacity and we use it to focus on one thing at a time.  Some people claim they can multitask and therefor do more than one thing at a time but I doubt it.  There is research somewhere, I believe, that demonstrates that no one really multitasks with any efficiency.  I will try to find it for a future post.

Adults with ADHD can become warn out with people who ask, “Didn’t you see the sign?” And we are probably asked that question more than most. I now rest in the comfort that most people didn’t see the gorilla and they probably won’t see the sign either. People who ask that question will probably ask that question a lot and, who knows, maybe they just like to feel smug about it and that’s why they put up the sign and then repeatedly ask people, “Didn’t you see the sign?”

Sometimes I can have some fun with it and the dialogue goes like this:

“Didn’t you see the sign?”
“What sign?”
“That sign.”
“You mean this sign?”
“Yes, that sign.”
“No I didn’t see it. Was I supposed to?”
“Of course you were supposed to. Why do you think I put it there?”
“I don’t know. Why did you put it there?”
“I put it there because I want people to (whatever the sign says).”
“Then why wouldn’t you put it where I could see it?”
“I did.”
“Well obviously you didn’t or I would have seen it.”

Try it next time. At the very least you will make the sign person angry, or hopefully embarrassed but I’ll bet you won’t be shamed by the question, “Didn’t you see the sign?”